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September 29 Burma? Or Myanmar? I went to the Baltimore Book Festival today. It's held on the Mount Vernon, i.e. just beside the Peabody Institute. I approached a tent that showed obvious left-wing thinking books, Che Guevara, Labors' right, Marx etc. A newspaper called 'Militant' was displayed at the front desk. I asked the black lady if it's for free, but she said it costs one dollar. She introduced to me the contents in the newspaper, in a considerate slow speed of English. She told me in this issue it is mostly regard to the Jena 6 movement. Thanks to my poor English listening comprehension, I just grasped some pieces of information. Maybe she had seen me flip the book "Che Guevara Talks to Young People", and then she turned the paper to a page that containing the excerpt of that book. I bought the latest issue. She asked me where I am from. As she knew I from Taiwan, she mentioned the event in Burma in these days. The world is gazing the country. I hope the people in the world can help. Just like the Che's silly imagination of no boundries.
The country's name can be seen as Burma and Myanmar in the media. Here is a story covering the distinction from BBC. So if one disgusts the military regime in Burma right now, s/he can use "Burma". Burma is the original name of the country, and Myanmar is the name the military regime, which killed thousands of innocent people in 1980's and is killing another numerous people now, changed into.
September 28 Peru, and Myanmar Two days ago, when I was writing on the ex-president A. Fujimori, I thought about the protest in Myanmar. Last night, when I studied the pages that would be covered in the mid-term exam this morning, I read about the crackdown in Myanmar. God never damns the damn-able military regime in that country! The buddhists in TW also seemed impotent under the myth of karma even though they see the buddhist being under persecution!? So, we ordinary human sould do something, act, react, response, or whatever.
Take action! => This is a page designed by the Amnesty International (國際特赦組織), on which one can find information to write to the government to release the protesters.
Peru is put in the following because of the urgency in Burma.
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At the beginning of this week, the ex-president of Peru, Mr. Fujimori, was sent back to Peru from Chile. I remember when I was in my master program, I ever acclaimed Fujimori's flee from Peru to Japen. At that time, he was alleged conducting political killing and corruption. In addition, it was cheering in the atmosphere when right-wing parties won in many countries. After years of escape, Fujimori came home at last, for the trials he has to face.
On the second day of this news, I talked about it to a classmate in Epi Lab session, who is from Peru. I asked him why there are supporters went on the street to back up this internationally infamous politician. He said, the economy in Peru went stable under Fujimori's regime. Before Fojimori, there were two big movements in Peru that made the country in turmoil. Thus, he thinks Fujimori is a good president from the long-term perspective and that why there are proponents when Fujimori comes back. As I heard his answer, I thought his answer was as my expectation.
According to Liu's observation, on his flight to Cuba, South American people don't just rely on the technology from the US, but Cuba is another source of medical technology for its companion countries. Therefore, those who can afford the tuition in this expensive university might have had some beneficial or privileged experience from their country and less likely to judge the authority (or, ex-authority?). But, taking this so personally explanation is probably not fair for those South American student in the US. Take Saddam Hussein, Chiang Kai-Shek, or Z.-D. Mao for example, there are still people missing them now. However, this phenomenon only proves the complexity and absurdity in political history. The politician's fault cannot be transferred to those people who ever received their help. Erroneouly transferring fault or blaming those who gotten help just the soil for stupid and crazy conflicts like those in Rwanda, Darfur, and Bosnia. September 20 A friend's study Anyone ever saw the movie "The Cup" must remember the monastery school for exile Tibetan boys: a wise lama mentor, a serious lama master, and a school of lama boys. It is based on a true story happening in a year of World Cup. The passion for football penetrated into the mountainous area in the Northern India. Several lama boys slipped out from the school to town at night, for watching the outside broadcast on TV. One day, the lama master caught these naughty boys and punished them. As the lama mentor saw the boys punished, he asked the master it'd better find out why the boys sneaked to twon. After understanding that the boys did not do bad things, they allow the boys to install a TV in the school so that they can keep the boys in school and prevent the probable risk outside at night. Finally, the boys raised enough money to buy a TV and dish antenna, and watched the final game altogether.
I found a friend's work in a paper from the PubMed search engine. It's about the healthy status of Tibetan children who reside in India. I remember couples years ago he went to the South India to do his master thesis in international health, and collected some data regarding the exile Tibetan boys there. The abstract is here: Kao JK, Fann WC, Chou MC, Wu MR, Wu YC, Dhundup N, Lin CY. Acta Paediatr Taiwan. 2006 Sep-Oct;47(5):243-8. The growth of Tibetan monks in south India--compared to the boys in Taiwan 10 years ago. But his name is put at a more minor place. Maybe this is another evidence that almighty physicians grab all cretis???
==== I really wonder why I always do "irrelevant" things before important events? I read Shakspears's four tragedy plays months before the joint examiniation for college. I read the novel 後山日先照 from top to bottom in one day and watched the PTS drama series of this novel, a couple months before my oral defence of master thesis. I read Miyabe Miyuki's Copy Cat during my first time preparing GRE test. And recently, as the mid-term is just the next week, I spend time on recording my life! Weird. September 19 Participation... The GutsImprov is in HK now. I believe they will have a brilliant performance in these nights. Even though I can not be in there this year, but my mind is always hung around the team.
Last night, I wrote the following paragraph:
I like the atmosphere in class here. It is totally different from Taiwan that students raise hand immediately when they have question or have opinion. Even in the class of biostatistics, students also present their thought to confirm whether they catch the idea correctly. I like this kind of discussion. But my poor listening and speaking make me intimidated to raise hand to speak or ask. I am afraid that I ask something that someone else already asked but I didn't know. I am afraid that I ask what the instructor just mentioned that I didn't catch. I am afraid that my presentation would be not articulate so as to make everyone in the classroom confused. This many fears originated from my in-fluenct English ability stop my ideas in the class from my mouth. It's frustrating.
And then a fairy showed up. (Like the Peter Pan's story.) It's Duoduo. She told me that GutsImprov was going to HK that evening. I felt excited as I heard about the news from the team, even though I had been a bit frustrated. I told her my concern on my poor English expression. Then the fairy casted a spell and I got inspired, a divine power. She said the team will catch me if I fall anywhere anyhow. I was touched. She remind me of my "gift": "slow acting." I forgot this important thing when I urgently want to listen and speak English well. Take my time and be playsure. Be courageous to stand on the edge.
Several hours later, the curtain in HK will rise. I believe all of ours guts and playsure will rise with it, too. I keep walking, just as all you guys. Gossip I've never known that Ethan Hawke has a great-uncle, Tennessee Williams! I read this information from the New York Times Magazine this week. Who is Williams? He is a very important US playwright. The most famous work is "A Streetcar Named Disre." (慾望街車) It's an American classic. It's said that Williams' works is must read for high school students in the Us. One year before his death in 1989, Ethan Hawke's very best performance in "The Dead Peots Society" released. I was ever moved by this movie so much that I stayed sleepless for several days, when I was a high school student. The invincible Robin Williams, Robert Sean Leonard, and Ethan Hawke were the three pillars in the story. That movie ignited the restless soul inside my body. Although I did not become a person radically pursuing the ideal, but the ideal did emerge. So I really appreciate those who go directly to their dream regardless of difficulties. Ethan played a role who is a docile high student in the conflict of ideal and earthen expectation. The final scene is still so vivid that he ran into the snow field after he heard his roommate committed suicide. Beautiful youth life fell into the dust just because of the old souls' bigotry.... Hawke's culturally and literarily performance made the film an unforgettable piece. And now I understand, he has that sort of blood.
Why did I read the NYT magazine? Dr. Samet discussed a story relavent to epidemiology in the magazine. Thanks to him, I found another interesting thing.
September 17 Angry I was angry at myself today. In the lab session of epidemiology, I answered a question in public. As I read out my answer, I felt pretty confident. After the instructor discussed the question, I found I was wrong. I was embarrassed at that moment.
The question is to present the rationale of the MACS (Multicenter AIDS Cohort Study.) My answer was only focused on the reason why the study incoporated four research centers. However, there is a more important characterisitc of this study is that it followed up HIV negative gay men. The most valuable part of this study is that the longitudinal data can improve our understanding on transmission route, course of infection, and the stages of disease development. But all of these were not what I answer. I just said "to improve generalizability and representativity." Both wrong; that was even not a complete sentence!
But it's okay. To err is human, to forgive divine. I come, I err, and I forgive. So I am divine! Haha! It'd better be rephrased as "I come, I err, and I learn." What a positive setence!
The second thing made me angry is the China government. Actually, the anger is at my ignorance and tolerance on a outrageous government. Not about Cross-strait affairs; that tires me. It's Tibet.
I just read the book "僧侶與哲學家 (The Monk and the Philosopher [en])," a book documenting the intellectual dialogues between a liberalist philosopher father and his son, who is a lama and was ever a doctoral student of Francis Jacob, the famous Franch Nobel Prize Laureate depicting the structure of gene expression system. In one chapter, son and father talked about the situation in Tibet.
They discussed the human right crisis in Tibet, that the Chinese authority persecutes the Tibetan lamas, and that the Communist government encourages a big number of Han people to move to Tibet so as to "dilute" the proportion of Tibetan people. In these ways, the Tibetans born and living in Tibet will finally become "minority" and "aboriginal." When I read these, I was furious and really wanted to use the F-word! It's a shame: A shame of all the Han people and all the advanced countries around the globe. How could I never know that this place is under such a occupied and oppressed situation, while I admire Dalai Lama so much! Hence, the F-word is also for myself!
I recalled the news last year about the completion of Qingzang Railroad. When it attracted the world's attention, the media rarely told us the truths in Tibet. (The China government is skillful at this trick. The Olympic Game is the same. They use the beautiful and fancy images to promote the illusion that "China is ready," but the real inequality among the people and the deteriorated environment are all deliberatedly hidden.) How could I stupidly think Tibet is a highly cultural and historical place to visit, but be blind on the Chinese government's quasi-genocide plan?
Please, don't let Taiwan be "reconciled" with this cruel government. Please, Taiwan government has to be confident enough to seek a road to "merge" the other side, or at least to disseminate the basic human right to "save the billions of people under burning fire and deep water!" Just for the sake of human right; simple and clear.
I loathe that Chinese fake left-wing party and it's government, as well as those politicians across the strait! For the latter, just go to a history book of the 20th century, you will find the ROC government should take a large portion of the resposibilities for the current miseries in Taibet. While the Taiwanese authority tries to deny the ROC sovereignty, I doubt that those "patriotists" have heart. How can they just turn back on those people in Tibet and those Chinese refugees in Northern Thailand? These behaviors equal to erasing a history, like obliterating the history of 228 Event. As to the refugees in Northern Thailand, it's another sad story...
Sign... I've wasted too much time on indignation; I can't help criticizing. But it's time back to study. Viva, love and peace...
September 16 A whole week Watching a week went by, I really had no time to write. My time is occupied with study... err, specifically, with anxiety. Anxiety on no enough time for study, and on poor English listening and speaking comprehension. Sometimes, I feel I am too old to have such a school life. However, thinking about some friends I know in Taiwan who went to graduate schools at their 30's, 40's, even 50's, how can I put my age to escape this necessary tough period of transformation?
As regard to the toughness, the biostatistics class I take here is excellent, though. My former confused brain on biostatistics is organized much better in this class. This good class can be accessed via it opencourseware Methods in Biostatistics I. I'm not sure whether Lucifer Chu's (the Chinese translator of Tolkien's The Lord of the Rings) OOPS offers the chinese version of this class or not.
I read an amazing paper from NEJM this week -- The Spread of Obesity in a Large Social Network over 32 Years. It applied the longitudinal data of the three generations of the Framingham Study to examine whether one's obesity status could be affected by his/her relatives' and friends' changes in body size. They used complicated methods to estimate the effect and found social contacts do influence one's body size. They even draw a dynamic animation to monitor the micro-social changes in obesity status.
As to me, in addition to the fancy statistical and computer science, it is more unbelievable that the subjects adhered to the Framingham Study so much. The follow-up rate is high and the participants' were willing to provide the information on their social relationships (they were asked to name their friend) and on their private data (including addresses). How can a cohort study yield such a good results: not only outstanding on the epidemiological results, but also wonderful on the community participation and social trust. I believe only data from a good field can make data better the world. However, it is regretful that, most of the scientists don't give a shit on this issue -- the community solidarity. In most of the epidemiological and medical study, the term "subjects" is just used as euphemism; it at fact should be called "objects." I don't see anyone "subject" has the power to influence the study subject, but they are truely the silent objects under the "objective" science's regard. I don't mean the Framingham Study is a model of epidemiological study thet empowered a community, but at least it made a town be proud of itself and had benefits from this base. I also believe this good relationship is very important backed up by governmental long-term money. When can Taiwan have its own good study of good will and good practices?
There are four homworks due on next Friday. One is to hand in a short paper abstracting the plan of the final term paper, which would be a critic paper on one policy on food and/or nutrition. If I am in Taiwan, I must be very interested in this assignment. As in the US, the language and culture barriers take me lot of efforts to do this job. I hope I can do it well.
September 08 "Disease Detective" Despite my poor listening ability, I still learned one important lesson in the epidemiology class here. When I was asked upon the question "what is epidemiology?", I always used the classic definition: Studying the distribution and determinants of diseases." This Wednesday, the lecturer, Dr Samet, warned: "NEVER SAY THAT!" That's boring! He said, epidemiologists should describe themselves as "Disease Detective." Kind of the TV show CSI. Actually, epidemiologists are really doing this kind of job, finding the cause of a diseases, searching the culprits that kill lots of people.
PS. Dr Jonathan Samet is the chair of the Dept of Epi, JHU. His study interest is tobacoo and health. September 05 Dinner for one week Someone said someone else said the TA-in-chief of the class epidemiology is very beautiful, like a fashion model. That may prove the old saying "beauty is skin deep." Until yesterday, all the students did not receive information about assignment for the lab session. The Email includes the reading assignment, but it was sent too late, for me, because my lab session is today. Some of the students didn't even know their table assignment in this morning. As to me, I had not got the request of finishing the reading assignment until last midnight. How could it be so!? The TA-in-chief have assisted the class for years. How could she not know that the assignment needs to be sent earlier? Doesn't she know all the students are heavily-loaded with assignments and need time to arrange their study? Beautiful people have to work harder to get rid of the myth that their success is contributed by their skin only! Yap, this is my bias on beauty! :P
For this whole week, I eat soy sauce stewed meat and rice for dinner. I cook many on last Wednesday, and that is really delicious, even though I did not add black vinegar to the gravy. Every evening, after the rice is done, I put some of the meat and gravy (and the grease, of course :P) and carrots on the rice, and then steam again for a while. A wonderful dinner is going to be served!
September 04 Happy today I am happy today. Because I can understand the lecture better than I did last week. This really cheers. Thus, after the biostatistics class, I went to the Hanptom House to attend a seminar regarding community-based research. I was nervous about that because this kind of class may not show numbers and charts, which means listening ability would be very important. Today, the speaker talked introduced the getting hot method: Community-Based Participatory Research. At last, it turned out that I can understand the contents the lecturer gave. I found this class is worth of one credit by just participating the twice a month seminars. How can I not to take this class? After all, I want to learn more about this since I was in Taiwan.
Today, it is also my first time to speak English in public since I arrive this country. Actually, not "speak", "ask" would be more specific. I asked the TA of biostatistics class about one question in homework. Even though I make grammar error in the few sentences, I felt I already break some line that limit my courage.
I need to prepare my lunch from now on. Foods sold in the cafeteria and cafe are really unhealthy, rich in carbohydrate and fat. In addition, they are not cheap. I need to bring food myself for the reasons of health and finance. I made more rice this dinner and used half of them to make sushi roll. I don't know how many people can find out what is stuffed in the sushi roll!
Interesting topics on NPR I found several interesting discussion and reports on the radio NPR. Because I cannot finish them at this time, I jot them down here and hope listen to them sometime.
September 02 Charles St. It is said the oldest street in Baltimore. As urban renewal, the environment here is also much 'better' than the other districts in this city. I forgot to bring that Jane Jocob's The Death and Life of Great American Cities to the United States. I don't know the critics on the renewal progress. But when I arrived this city, I read a report on the local paper Baltimore Sun that homeless people claimed the urban cleaning campaign on the weekend evicted them from places and took their belongings away. In that story, a homeless man was interviewed, who had lost his job of bus driver because of an accidental injury. I thought of those who drive the shuttle buses of the Johns Hopkins. Do they have good enough welfare to protect them from the insecurity caused by occupation accidents?
All the beautiful sences are hiding some ugly truth. Can we say that because the inevitable ugliness, we need the beauty to make life easier? Like the movie Matrix triology, it is a good idea to use some virtual bubble-like happiness to veil the the real cruel truth? This reminds me the conversation with a cute Asian-Indian-American guy on the orientation day about the illusionary Beijin on the Olympic promotional scenes.
Here are some pictures in the bubbles of Baltimore, "The greatest city in America"!
Getting old Yesterday, I was convinced to go to a party. Actually, I should go to because I had said yes weeks ago. But the several parties in the first couple of weeks makes me tired of meeting new people, I turned down the invitation and planned to stay at dorm for studying. Whatever, I am thankful that I was convinced because I would be a retracting guy is I didn't go.
The Taiwanese Student Welcoming Party was held on a hall in the gound floor of Charles Tower. That is luxury place, very suitable for a private party. There was a karaoke. I have not sung in KTV for more than two years, except for that Improv song party in this August. I found the songs so new that I even don't know half of them. I am getting old.
As leaving near midnight, we saw that the supermarket SuperFresh closed but leaving all the lights on. It's so wasting of resources. As the greenhouse gas emission is one of the most imperative problems we human are confronting, how dare these Americans do this kind of thing? I really can't get it. Recently I start to understand that even in this "advanced" country, people not necessarily do as what they say, including those higher social status people... Disappointing. September 01 Say Hi and This is a country where you should promote yourself to be recognized or remembered. Thus, social life seems to be an important part. Two days ago, I went to the Greeting Reception held by the School. I am somewhat sociophobic. I don't like to stand in such a social venue. Being put in this kind of occasion, I feel awkward because I don't know what to talk with. Especially, now I am in an environment of different language. But the philosophy I learnt from Improv "So what" let me decide to go to the Reception.
As I arrived the venue, there was a long line of students waiting to get into the hall. I alone stood with an African American woman. In this country, it seemed to be rude that you don't chat with someone standing by you. So I turned my head to see her with smile, and she saw back, of course, with smile, and say 'Hi." Then, we introduced ourselves and talked something like where we are from and so on. She is from Florida, and her parents moved to the US from Nigeria. The background info are fresh, but I forgot her name and her face several minutes later.
Social is important and the memory is, too. Since I come into this country, I have introduced myself to dozens of people and at the meantime I heard dozens of new people. However, most of them are forgotten, except those who study in the same department. Recently, I run into several people on the road and felt familiar, but I cannot link them to names. No good... The Washington Monument Near the Peabody Institute is the Washington Monument on the Mount Vernon. There are four sculptures called "force", "order", "war" and "peace" around the monument. Although it is sunny, but the trees have had colors of autumn.
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